I can certainly relate to your story. However, you are 47 and I am 75 and still on anti-depressive meds. My experiences may help you though as I did not rely totally on my PCP for the proper meds and doses. I sought out other professionals and have found a balance in life that I have come to live with. There are other therapies other than meds that you may want to check into as it sounds as though your depression is severe.