You’re so right. The hardest battles we fight alone are often silent ones. We may look fine on the outside but we’re a world of hurt on the insid

I was on the blood thinner off and on over a year. My first experience was the five weeks in the hospital for chemo with the AML. The final week I was there, the nurse had me self inject so that I’d be fine when sent home with that med to use one more week.
I had to stay on it basically anytime I was bedridden or hospitalized over that next year. It was well tolerated and I didn’t worry about blood clots. It really is easy to self inject. A blood clot is way worse, as you know.

I wonder if your blood counts are falling. That can leave you feeling really ooogie. Listen to your body. If wants rest, do so. You’re fighting against a blood disease so it will make you tired. When you’re tired I swear pain hurts worse. Find something binge worthy for distraction if you can.
Please try the blood thinner today! Do it around the same time daily. If it smarts after put a little ice on it. But you won’t screw it up. It’s only scary the first time. Will you try it now?

@tml, You could call but not sure that a voice mail will be answered until tomorrow. However, you could call to find out if someone is covering on the weekend and a phone number is provided. Peace of mind is certainly worth the call.
I have not had the meds and the side effects you describe, and I am happy that Lori, who has already traveled this journey, is offering the support from her experience.
I know that you are worried about today, tomorrow, and the next days. When I was at endstage liver failure, possible bile duct cancer, and on dialysis for acute kidney failure, my survival secret was that I absolutely had to live for the moment. That could be a brief moment, an hour, or a day. I dared not think about tomorrow and all the things that might be ahead, and made a decision to focus on one positive thing - anything - each day. It became a blessing hunt , and when I began to look for blessings, I found that I could block out some of the negativity and doubts that haunted me. I even began to keep a list. On one dark dreary day, I celebrated a tiny ray of sunshine that popped thru the clouds and it uplifted my mood. Even the the shadows on the ceiling as the wind blew the tree branches in the beam of the street light became my blessing on sleepless nights because I was able to be like a child and let my imagination go wild with the shapes and rhythm of the shadows. Sometimes it even put me to sleep!
I'm getting off topic, But i want you to know that you re not alone. Have you considered beginning a journal that includes blessings that you experience?
I also would encourage you to call your doctor in the morning of you don't get in touch with someone today. He might want to see you before Thursday.
Be easy on yourself. If there is a couch in a sunny window curl up for a nap.
Hugs.