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Advice on Taking Care of a Spouse after a Mastectomy

Breast Cancer | Last Active: Dec 15, 2023 | Replies (25)

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@sirref

Thank you for the reply. When I first read this post regarding the drains, it really hit hard that I needed to get in gear to prepare.  At the same time, I seemed to have been going through the various stages of Kubler-Model grief. I never gave grief a thought for a surgery. That has changed to learn more of the grief stages.  I did print out a sheet with the various stages of grief, so my wife can just point to what she feels any given day.  On any given day she might feel, shock, denial a bit of depression and that aid me to know what she is feeling. YouTube's resources on taking care of drains and hearing the experiences of other women is just outstanding and  needed. The one plus she has is an adjustable bed, so it is easy for her to remain upright in any position that is comfortable. There is a shower seat and I can adjust the shower head to any position for her needs.
Cooking and house cleaning is a no issue. I always enjoy preparing foods, especially on the grill, and our house is only  1,000 sq feet and easy to clean.

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I had another thought. I don’t know your family situation, but one of our sons lives closer than the other and they both wanted to come ‘home’ for the surgery, both at the time in late 20’s. I told them to hang in there until afterwards to see how things would be and my younger son dropped a little bomb by saying, “Yeah, but I can be there for Dad while he is waiting.” Covid may change things, but don’t be afraid to express how you feel too.