@cmb2022 When I don't feel like talking I don't answer my phone. I'm in the boonies so no one just comes by to visit. If they did I guess I'd feel obligated to answer the door (instead of hiding which would be my inclination). All this to say you're back at work and you're tired when you get home. You feel sad. You're allowed to feel sad right now. You're allowed to be self-absorbed too. Maybe you just need this time for yourself. And when you feel up to it you can get back to seeing people again.

I just talked with a friend today who is going through a tough time. Divorce, not cancer. She said that when tells people how stressed and out of control she feels they respond with something like "but you're so strong". When you go through something difficult like you are now that strength can waver, right? I believe that having strength means we don't avoid the difficult stuff. We feel fear, anxiety, sadness and we do it anyway. Is that you?