← Return to Advice on Taking Care of a Spouse after a Mastectomy

Sirref (@sirref)

Advice on Taking Care of a Spouse after a Mastectomy

Breast Cancer | Last Active: Nov 19, 2022 | Replies (24)

Comment receiving replies

In addition to all the good advice from @betsyk, you might have drains to empty (will there be breast reconstruction?) I didn’t want my husband to spend his time cooking and cleaning. I wanted him to sit and have coffee with me, etc. You may want to cook ahead of time, possibly get a housekeeper if budget permits. Even after the days/weeks of restrictions, I found that I could not open heavy doors at stores; not all are automatic. Had to sleep sitting up till the drains were removed. Walking will be encouraged inside the house and outside, best exercise and good mentally. I was told to get up at intervals and walk around the house to keep blood moving in legs. Initially, she can’t be on her own, so walk with her, even at night. A little seat in the shower was helpful just for a short time and I could not blow dry my own hair. I was actually able to do quite a bit for myself and shirts with front openings helped me be more independent. It’s a surgery that no one will be aware of from the outside, so I found myself in some pretty funny situations when I was out. I honestly was not in a lot of pain, so I wish the same for her and quick recovery.

Jump to this post

Replies to "In addition to all the good advice from @betsyk, you might have drains to empty (will..."

Thank you for the reply. When I first read this post regarding the drains, it really hit hard that I needed to get in gear to prepare.  At the same time, I seemed to have been going through the various stages of Kubler-Model grief. I never gave grief a thought for a surgery. That has changed to learn more of the grief stages.  I did print out a sheet with the various stages of grief, so my wife can just point to what she feels any given day.  On any given day she might feel, shock, denial a bit of depression and that aid me to know what she is feeling. YouTube's resources on taking care of drains and hearing the experiences of other women is just outstanding and  needed. The one plus she has is an adjustable bed, so it is easy for her to remain upright in any position that is comfortable. There is a shower seat and I can adjust the shower head to any position for her needs.
Cooking and house cleaning is a no issue. I always enjoy preparing foods, especially on the grill, and our house is only  1,000 sq feet and easy to clean.