I really feel for you, and I feel this comment. I'm so sorry you're back at work; that's a hard place to allow yourself to feel what you have to feel. With my diagnosis, I felt very much as you do: glad that surgery and chemo were available to me, but also: DAMN! I'm afraid that this is it! How can it be when I'm only 58 years old? (The older we get, the younger we think every age is, right?) I hate cliches, but it is true, my friend: tomorrow is another day. I tried to remember that when I was feeling so miserable. I wish you the best: hang in there, and know that there's a whole bunch of us rooting for you!