Yes, Dee, your thoughts and words are so familiar to me. I remember that I had to make a decision to "live" instead of just "survive". There is a difference. Living is to engage FULLY. It took me some time to figure out what that truly meant now, after breast cancer, and what it looked like for ME. I knew women who had gone through this disease, and no journey is the same. It's even challenging to befriend a woman going through cancer like you are. . . because both of you will have your ups and downs. (sigh.). But yes, "we still have to show up and do what we can to make these days count for something more than just surviving". I remember saying that I was "waiting for the memories to fade". . . and then realized that was just living to get one more day away from the trauma. So, I began to reengage. :). There are still some days that I'm challenged by something that triggers a memory, something that plants a doubt, something that may try to steal my joy . . . but then I start in AGAIN. Because we are more than just surviving. We are a living testament to the power of courage, strength, and God's hand of mercy. :). You keep on, keeping on, Dee! You are almost at a year!