Thank you so much for checking in with me. It makes me feel good that a perfect stranger cares enough to do that.

My 1st virtual appointment went really well, better than I expected as It's hard to start with someone new. We made what she called a "safety plan " together so if I feel so much despair that I think I need to drive to a hospital, ( Which I almost did a few weeks ago) that I have a plan and resources. I hate talking about this as it's so scary when you have thoughts like this. I spoke with my husband about it as he is the only one who knows about my depression and anxiety and has been an amazing , support for me over the years. He gave me a big hug and said " no one should have to live with this", as I was as low as I can remember in a long time and uncontrollably crying.

The therapist and I talked about things to do to make me feel better on a regular basis, which for me is lots of physical activity outdoors, if possible. Hiking, walking, SUP/summer, snowshoe/winter and yoga ,always. Breathing through anxiety, which I learned when I first began practicing yoga .

She also wrote a note to my Dr. requesting I see a female psychiatrist to review my meds. I had a very uncomfortable experience with a male that I saw for quite awhile and I stopped seeing him as I was worried about his mannerisms and behavior. I liked the idea of just an assessment of my meds.

I have a hard copy that I keep in my purse of the plan, just in case.

Today we had our 2nd appointment , we talked about self- worth and self-esteem and she is sending me resources to speak to a "guidance counselor for adults" that a co-worker used and thought was very beneficial. As, I have esteem issues about what I currently due and what I feel I am capable of doing and needing to feel more worthwhile in this area. We also talked about having something "just for me" outside of exercising, work, helping my mom ( My siblings all live out of state) and hanging out with family. Possibly volunteering, ( which I did a lot of when our kids were younger at school, sports and church) or furthering my education: whether it be a program or some classes online or in person. This person also does some testing to help you figure out what you are or may be good at.

Sorry I am so verbose, but I think it helps me to go over it. I am feeling better than last week today. I have an appointment next week with my temporary therapist as well. I fell more in control knowing I have her to help me. Had some off the charts anxiety over the weekend due to an ongoing negative situation with my husband's family involving him and our entire family.
But our adult kids were with us as were many other positive people. I made it! 🙂

Thank You for your concern! I really appreciate it!