Tell your husband it's your back and your pain.

The pain pump delivers such a small dose of meds there are virtually no side affects. I started at about 3.5 mg of hydromorphone per 24 hours. Five years later that is up to 3.9 mg. This replaced 21q0 mgs. of hydromorphone, 60 mgs. of oxycontin and 20 mgs. of valium. You DO NOT get high. I don't even get constipated. It will not affect your awareness or ability to drive etc. The pain pump is only for people who are not going to get better, who will never be pain free without medical intervention. I had to go through an examination by a number of specialist to be cleared for the pump. You are considered a palliative care patient. Not that your terminal but that you will have the situation your in for the rest of your life. Folks who get all moralistic about the use of pain meds are ill-informed and may have that opinion based on their own history of drug or alcohol use. I put up with a lot of that bull before I found the right doctors.

I would caution you that long term pain and depression go hand in hand and depression can be caused by pain as well as make your experience of pain much more severe. You must be willing to be treated for depression with drugs, talk therapy and bibliotherapy, (reading about depression and understanding the mechanisms). There should be NO value judgements made about depression. It is not a character flaw anymore than high blood pressure or a broken leg is. You don't need people judging you when you need medical care. They can be soul sucking leeches who have no idea how damaging their ideas can be.

You must also be willing to do everything you can to get and stay in good condition both to deal with pain and to deal with depression.

Make sure you get gene testing to determine which drug your body will metabolize best. Then make sure that drug is tested on you via a spinal injection. Don't just accept the first thing suggested because some other patient did well with it that your doctor treated in the past. A company called Gene Sight can furnish the test. Based on our genetic make up, different people metabolize drugs in different ways. The same testing will also predict which anti depressants you will tolerate best and get the most benefit from should you need that. Goggle Gene Sight and give them a call. Mayo also has a similar testing program but Gene Sight was the first and the most experienced.

I wish you good luck and I zsend you Love and Blessings.

W. Stephen Hodder, (wsh66)