It’s a very difficult situation to be in i as a mother can’t call myself a survivor I have been trying to cope with my life without my son for the past ten years now and it has been a difficult task sometimes I feel that it’s just a dream and I will wake up to see his smiling face but then i realise that the only way that’s going to happen is when I leave this world also maybe I will be with him for all I know is that I am living but not as a survivor
I never really survived either. I am sorry for what you endure. After my brother's suicide, I watched my parents suffer for many years. The laughter in own home was gone. I know they never got over it. They were in their 40's when my brother died and my parents both lived into their 90's, so my parents suffered for many years. One of the last things my mother said to me on her death bed was that she was going to see Sanford. I went to see a new counselor today to deal with my own depression issues and the questions brought my own pain regarding my brother's suicide, my biggest loss in life, to the forefront again. I am crying as I type this. My biggest fear is that my own children will make the same choice my brother did. I read Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine recently as grieving is a fact of my life. Every day. It was very helpful.