Hello- I do love to hike year around! In the winter, often on snow shoes. I have been physically active my entire life as I have always liked to be outside and moving! As early as my 20's I noticed how good I felt when I was outside( vs. being at the gym) There's something about fresh air and sunshine that I can't seem to get in any pill.

Of course, It is harder in the winter to bundle up and get out, especially when its been so icy this year. I eventually HAVE to go outside or I feel crabby and more anxious than usual.

One of my daughters was a fitness professional in corporate fitness and created over 100 videos when Covid 1st began and they have been instrumental in keeping me fit and sane over the past 2 plus years.

I truly need to be outside, especially when the sun is out! I tell my husband that the feeling is hard to describe when I am out in the nature reserve we live a mile from . Wherever we go we find hiking trails. We went to CO for the 1st time and hiked in the mountains there, so exhilarating and exhausting and beautiful!

Last summer , I bought a paddleboard and learned to paddle ( a big feat for someone who can't swim and is very afraid of deep water- of course I wear a Lifejacket) I find it's very peaceful on the lake too! I enjoy bicycling and yoga as well!

I am fortunate to have a very active and supportive family, as depression and anxiety can ebb and flow for most of us, I think. My adult daughters especially encourage me and call me for walks, hikes, etc. My husband is the only one who is aware of my depression and anxiety. My mom would worry herself sick. I think our adult children are aware of my anxiety, but depression is so hard to explain and I don't want to worry them.

When I was initially diagnosed about 20 years ago, I tried to confide in one of my sister's and she threw it back at me during an argument saying " at least I don't need pills to make me happy", and another time saying " why can't you just be happy". These words stay with me still. I realize that is just ignorance talking , but it still hurts. Those of us who suffer know it isn't as easy as saying " be happy" . That it's really something you can't control like flipping a switch on and off.

I've had some pretty tough days again lately and am going back to therapy after a year hiatus. Unfortunately, the need is great out there and I can't see someone until the end of June! I am seeing a temporary therapist virtually this week, so we'll see how this goes. Not sure if I need something in addition to the Cymbalta, but if anyone has had something work for them , I'd love to hear their experience. While I realize we are all different and respond differently to meds , it's always good to hear from others!

Thank You!

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