Hi Joann, yes I will try and I can completely understand the anxiety. Not a very fun place, I too had my moments. I went thru a few times where I felt the shock wasn't quite as bad as the anticipation of it. I remember thinking would it be better if I knew when it would happen or just have it surprise me. I remember tho in talking with my Doctor who handled that area, we addressed it from 2 approaches. Medication and pacemaker settings. And for quite a while we were able to find settings that at least would try other methods to get me out of an arrhythmia besides shocks. So that would be my first advice is for sure discuss you anxiety with your doctor . mFor me finding one that was very familiar with my type of heart issue did wonders with both settings and medications. These types of heart rhythm issues have different EP doctors some specialized in upper areas like Afib or lower areas like VT or SVT. So if your doctor is not as familiar with your particular case maybe they can suggest one. I had an afib doctor once who did just that and suggest a different doctor for my case.

You mentioned an ablation which for me was also very helpful.
Now I have to tell you I know based on a friend of mine afib is different than what I had which was VT for short
Mine was a type of arrhythmia that unless treated within a minute or two can be deadly so shutting off the defibulator was not an option except in the hospital under constant monitoring. But what my friend told me about afib is usually its not life threatening and he always had time to actually call his doctor and if a shock was necessary could go to an ER and get converted as he put it while sedated. Not sure if that's an option for you but depending on your situation maybe a possibility. Another great question for your doctor.
The last thing I learned to do was some relaxation and Manuel methods to stop an arrhythmia. It's a technique actually that if your ever having a heart attack can help so it's great to remember. There are 2 methods of which I have used both. 1 is to cough very violently and the lung action can actually put pressure on the heart and stop an irregular heartbeat. The other is something they teach pregnant women to be ready for child birth where you tighten the pelvic floor muscle to get it stronger. I know it has a name but can't think of it at the moment but that also can put pressure on the heart and stop an arrhythmia. Now the other 2 things have to do with diet and depending if they are occasionally or more regular can have a bearing on heart issues. Alcohol and smoking which I was doing both at one point. But also even excess coffee. And for relaxing So I'm a man of Prayer and that's also my goto way of relaxing. But anything that can help you relax is helpful also. I hope maybe some of these are helpful and please let me know if I can help further. I've been there and completely understand how scary it is. At least for me I really never got used to the shocks but knew they were saving my life. And for me led to seeing my first Great Grand daughter born and help me to quit bad habits that now are history and feel so much better for it. Hang in there and keep trying to find the right settings that work for you. I ended up going with a pacing setting first that tried to get me out of an arrhythmia but also acted as a warning that if it didn't work at least it gave me time to get in a more relaxed position to be ready for the shock. Mainly if I was in a dangerous situation like driving I could pullover or if standing at least sit down . Please let me know how I can help further I really do understand.
Blessings