@mikaylar, you are not alone. You'll notice that I moved your message about being in denial about your brother's suicide to this existing discussion
- – Suicide: Finding it hard to lose someone by suicide https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/suicide-1/

I did this so you can connect with others like @georgette12 @anndomico @parus @hopeful33250 @mcmurf2 @sheridonaldson @amazingteal @grannydee and more who understand your broken heart and how difficult coping with loss by suicide is.

I know for your earlier post (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/665574/) that you dearly loved your brother. I encourage to read through the past messages and to continue to share how you are doing. I'll repeat - you're not alone and members are here to listen and hold space with you.
Sending you a gentle virtual hug.