← Return to Multifocal Adenocarcinoma of the lung, continual recurrences

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@jamineibs

Merry,
Wack a Mole. Sounds about right.
Living your best life with purpose is a must. I have share. The most amazing things happened to me in the couple years leading up to my cancer diagnosis. I have always had a pretty good life, not much to complain about except those thing I let hold me back from truly living my best life. You know those things you put off because your waiting for someone else or don’t want to spend the time or it’s too hard - whatever it is. Well, a couple years before, almost subconsciously I started checking off those things, those things that allowed me to live with more purpose. I don’t know that I even realized the shift so much until I got the diagnosis. I didn’t freak out or cry. After processing all of it, I realized the good Lord had been working in me and preparing me for that moment. I felt His presence so strongly it’s as if he were carrying me. I have no doubt, had I not started down the path toward living my best life, I would have freaked out worrying about all of those things I have pushed aside waiting for the right time, worry about running out of time, and resenting those people I felt held me back. Instead, i didn’t have to worry about any of that because I was already on a good path. I was able to remain calm and find out as much as I could about this disease, so I was able to make health care decisions based on facts and research and not irrational fear.

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Replies to "Merry, Wack a Mole. Sounds about right. Living your best life with purpose is a must...."

Your background in handling your diagnosis sounds more peaceful than mine. But, fear is a funny thing. I think of irrational fear differently than fear of the future, no matter the reason. I think that it's a healthy thing, this fear, that has us step back so that we can absorb what we have learned so that we can go forward. I never know what somebody's background is, so for me to make judgments, whether their fear is baseless or not, wouldn't be right. And I wouldn't know anyway.

When I first learned that I had lung cancer I was so scared, scared of the unknown, and of what the future would hold for me. I learned through this immense fear that if I dug down deep enough, deeper than ever before that I could be strong. I had to make myself more than I thought I knew how.

I thoroughly believe that learning about myself was as important as learning about my disease. I don't think that I could have done it any other way. That's the way I am. My fears came and came at me as an avalanche threatens a small village. I gagged myself from one appointment to another. Was this irrational? Probably, maybe not. Did it matter?