@colleenyoung @ch2232
I've been thinking about my response because I want to be helpful. So if I provide TMI, give me feedback. If you have questions, please ask.

I've reached a point where I take Ativan strictly as needed. I did the slow and deliberate decreasing through tapering. After .5 mg, I went to every other day , then every 2 days--slowly and steadily. When I gave myself permission to take it if I needed it, a tool in my toolbox--I had a kind of relief and release. I no longer put Ativan in my daily pillbox because I don't need it daily anymore. I carry a few in my purse just in case I have a full blown panic attack.
I haven't had one of those since April 2021. Ironically, when that happened, I didn't have anything with me...no Nitroglycerin, no aspirin, no Ativan. Now I keep the "kit" in my purse just in case--a security blanket.
I'm receiving Spravato treatments weekly. For the sake of controlling my BP, two hours before my appointment, I take 1mg Ativan & 6.25mg Coreg.

As I've explained in previous posts I combine strategies, including behavior modification and necessary medications that allow me to take care of my Body, Mind, and Spirit.
I wouldn't arbitrarily stop my blood thinner, but when it's medically necessary, I stop taking Brilinta. Then when I have medical clearance I begin again.

I use my medications with caution. I think of my brain as an organ. My thyroid is off, my meds are adjusted or changed. I need thyroid meds to maintain my well-being. I need thyroid meds to live. My brain is off, my meds are adjusted or changed. My psychiatric meds are whittled down to tools to maintain my health...Plus, talk therapy is essential. Body, mind, spirit.

I've also addressed "masking." I am learning that sometimes what I perceive as anxiety is the result of something else. For example, I really control caffeine because no amount of Ativan is going to help my jitters. I am so sensitive to caffeine that I'm vigilant about where it is hidden.
And when my thyroid is off, I also experience a false sense of anxiety--again Ativan doesn't alleviate it.

I hope I've contributed some helpful info.
"Hope is the joyful expectation of good things to come."

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