Thanks everyone for the support and wonderful suggestions. Showtime hit home! Dr N had Home Heath come - when they were here he was wonderful (other than choking several times on pills) - they released him. I asked him if he was lying to me or to them and he admitted he was lying to them as he didn't want people coming to the house.

He has Stage 3b kidney, plus several other health issues - some under control with medication. He hasn't been tested formally. Family does understand the problem, which is a major support. Our one granddaughter was shocked when he couldn't remember her sisters name (one of his favorites).

He has also admitted to the kids that he isn't doing well with phone calls - forgets what he is talking about.

At one point Bill did acting in commercials, play, etc. So is really good on putting on a show. Then, as mentioned, he is completely exhausted and can't even talk.

Lately I've been carrying in his pills for him as he keeps dropping them - then we play find the pill on the floor, trapped in his chair, or along his route to his recliner.

Dr N would like to put him on Medicare's Palliative care as he suspected all that Bill is hiding from him. But he need documentation. Bill has stated he doesn't want extreme measures to keep him alive. No dialysis. He turns 89 in April. So basically what the family and I are trying to do is keep him comfortable - and keep my sanity! Do have a daughter 6 miles away and she went through this with her husband before he died.

When Bill and I moved back to AZ from KY end of 2019 - she took over driving us around as she explained traffic had changed so much. So she was his chauffeur, which he got a kick out of. Then it was easy for me to have driving duties transferred to me when she had to go back to in-school teaching. He will occasionally mention he can drive or drive himself to an appointment but gives over to me. He scared himself the first time on the Phoenix freeway systems - and we got lost. I tend to use surface streets (no hurry at our age) and at 81 my reactions aren't as fast as in my early ages. I figure other drivers would just as soon have me off the freeways! I have control of his license (in my purse) and the car keys.

He has an eye doctor appointment coming up and I'm tempted to cancel it - he won't grasp the doctor's directions (a year ago he got new glasses but said they weren't any good). Same problem with hearing aids - keeps wanting to buy new ones online! At this point there really isn't anything they can do to help his eyes - I don't believe. Any suggestions? Many thanks. Julie