Please step back and realize that not every surgeon is like your most recent one! Also, please set aside your awe with doctors, and begin to expect real answers to your questions and concerns. I know that older people and people with many medical issues are sometimes treated dismissively by some people in the medical community. I too am a "little old lady" and have learned to be persistent. My primary care provider is my cheerleader and she makes sure I get good care.

I think it is a good sign that the new surgeon's nurse has asked for information in advance. Sometimes the best thing you, as a patient can do, is to cultivate a strong relationship with a member of the doctor's staff who has a bit more time to help you - the nurse, PA (Physician's Assistant) or therapist. Then as questions come up, you can call or use their electronic communications to get answers.

If all of this is overwhelming to you as a couple, perhaps you can check with your physician, or your state or local council on aging to find help in dealing with it. For example, in some places there are social workers or ombudsmen available to help you sort through options and get answers.

Please let me know what the new surgeon has to say.
Sue