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Recent, totally sudden, traumatic loss of our daughter, 45.
Loss & Grief | Last Active: May 5, 2023 | Replies (47)Comment receiving replies
Holidays are so very hard. Filled with reminders. I could lie, like I do to many who ask politely “How are you?” and accept my canned responses - “Doing good, or Fine, thanks for asking.” But I’m not fine. The basic fabric of my life included connections to her in more ways than I knew. Now I know I have to repair that fabric. But I’m reluctant to,change things. It feels like I am somehow intentionally moving her out of my life. Do I know that she wants me to move on and live life fully? Yes. Am I able? Not yet. I will call it part of the grieving process and hope that time will expose a new path. In the meantime, it’s the Holidays. Watching old Christmas movies is about the best I can do this week. Next month will be better. I must make a New Years Resolution (and I have always hated them) to be a bigger part of the grandkids’ lives. Hard when we live so far apart. I need better digital skills to do that easier. I guess it’s the way of the future. I know she would have wanted it. Sorry if this post is a downer but the Holidays are the hardest for me. Ready for January.
Replies to "Holidays are so very hard. Filled with reminders. I could lie, like I do to many..."
Hi Johnchick, no it's not a downer.. as you put it it's a process.I know for me it's the realization in talking to there Dad that the most important aspect for us now and I like how he put it. We are those Children's connection to their Moms Childhood. Unlike their Father we knew their Mother's an Adult we can share the childhood memories so for me that's my goal going forward. Cherish those memories including photos. Something I'm doing is to digitize and preserve pictures and or any videos I have to be able on those occasions that they ask those insignificant questions as they grow older I can have an answer and keep the memories going.
As for electronic video platforms I know for this old dog from the one phone on the wall in the Kitchen to a video phone-in my hands made it a goal to learn what I could. My favorite resource is YouTube literally anything you want to learn someone has made a video for. My main video calling tool is Duo and for multiple people at once Zoom. So maybe give that a shot. Have a Merry Christmas and I'm here as a virtual shoulder. I've have grown a bit smarter on the video platforms so if I can help there please ask.
Blessings
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@johnchuck Honestly, I cannot tell you how to grieve. We each have our own "style", and muddle our way along as we find what is most comfortable for us. Not that grieving is ever an easy task.
It sounds like you may be able to tap the shoulders of your grandkids to have them help you learn new skills to communicate with them more? That could be a win-win for all of you!
Ginger