Struggling to cope with Stage IV diagnosis and what the future holds.

Very inspiring! My Mom is in the similar condition but her post covid lungs are giving her much harder time. She’s on O2 24/7 and only able to wean off only for about 15-20 minutes a day. We know that time is not on her side but doing all that can keep her comfortable and happy. it’s very worrying to think of what’s coming. She’s not taking any oral chemo drugs asr the Drs believe she must come out of her fragile condition to be able to withstand side effects of these drugs.
Wishing you lot of courage and grit!

I'm sorry your mom is having to struggle due to the Covid. Anyone with lung mets knows that bronchitis, flu and now, especially covid, can take any one of us down. I pray that she will recover from her Covid and get back to treatment. Right now, she needs all the fighting blood cells so stopping treatment is necessary. I've know gals off for up to 2 months who saw no progression so I hope your mom will fair as well. Prayers with you, your mom and your family thru the Holidays and beyond.
Peggie

Chemo is hard! No way around that. Maybe when she recovers from the covid, she can resume some treatments. Covid is hard too, one of the foster girls that were in our home growing up just passed from it. If your mom is home and on oxygen, she is doing better than many and it might just be time that she needs to get past the lingering effects. The truth is, no one truly knows ALL of the whys and hows of why some recover and some do not. Some things change the odds but not guarantees. Love your mom every day while you have her and you won’t regret it regardless of the outcomes.

Dear Mary - there are some amazing words of advice that folks have shared. I feel inspired all over again. I too am a MBC fighter since October, 2019. After my Sept 2019 double mastectomy and just before I was healed enough to start chemo, followed by radiation, my stage 3c became stage IV because my dermatologist couldn’t heal something that he thought was related to my concurrent Lyme diagnosis. A punch biopsy showed breast cancer sub-cutaneous. At that time, my oncologist told me I could never be ‘cured’ but we would keep pivoting to new drugs as we needed. So I was to look at my situation like a “cat and mouse game” and to understand that there are tons of people living with cancer like it is a chronic condition. And my cancer has come back with a vengeance and yes we have beaten it back again - my first set of meds worked great for 19 months. Second set didn’t. A combo of chemo and other drugs just allowed me to have an awesome Christmas.

I am sorry you are going through this. It is not fair. But you are. You might not be “cured” but you are being given a choice to “live with it” in the best possible way. Since my bad mammogram in July 2019 to now, I have continued to work part-time, planned my daughter’s wedding, hiked in Glacier National Park, Arches, Canyonlands, and found a national park in Ohio (who knew.). I play tennis, learned to paddle board with my grand pup, finally lost 20 of the 40 pounds I need, got my husband to lose some and start yoga with me, we both take vitamins religiously and the question of whether I might need cholesterol or monitor my blood sugar resolved itself with my healthier food intake and life style. I treasure my friends, spoil my kids, adore my husband, and thank God every day. None of us know when we are going to die - whether we have cancer of not. So the choice we are given is how to live our lives. There will be good days and bad. Control what you can (which is why I have done all the above things) and work/manage/question and challenge the docs to do their job. I track my bloodwork, keep copies of all my reports and ask even the stupid questions. We are all here for you and sorry to welcome you to a team that no one wants to be on - but we kick some butt with the best of them!

Thank you for your transparency and sincere honesty. This touched a place inside of me as my “go to” is being tough and putting up a strong front. This year, I’ve been learning how to be honest with some of my family and friends. That also helps keep me honest with myself.

My husband died in January. I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer in May. I chose lumpectomies. Pathology report was good; 5 consecutive days of radiation; taking Letrozole. Having some side effects from that. Dealing with those.

Walking about 2-3 miles a day and going to PT twice a week, plus working out at home. Eating healthy foods. Going to a counselor weekly. Have started yoga - first for me! Meditating daily. In other words, at last, at 79, I’ve been putting my health first.

None of us knows how much more we have of life, so do our best and live each moment to the fullest. Let gratitude be a way of life.

It sounds as if you are enjoying your life more. Sometimes I think we are the lucky ones because we don’t take our days for granted. I don’t know very many cancer patients that are just going through the motions of living.
Cancer is hard, I am glad you are able to honest with yourself and others about that. I am also really happy to think about PT, and counseling being part of the program. I wish that were always part of the protocol for treating cancer.
Thank you for sharing your story here.
Can I ask if you are being treated at a large cancer center?

Thanks for your reply. My lumpectomies, capsulectomies, and reconstruction were done at my local hospital. After interviewing the general surgeon and cosmetic surgeon there and at Duke Breast Cancer Center, I felt strongly that I should choose the local surgeons.

That worked out very well. All the rest of my cancer care is through Duke Cancer Center in Durham, NC.

I’m going to a medical oncologist at Duke Cancer Center. I like and respect him and we have a good rapport. That’s also where I had my radiation treatments.

My oncologist was very concerned about side effects of Letrozole, especially with my past history of suicidal ideation. Thus, counseling. My joints really, really hurt, especially hips and knees, thus PT and walking.

These “extras” seem to be helping me so far.

You’re absolutely correct about being fully aware of, and grateful for, each and every day. No more taking life for granted.

@fourfoot12 i think of you every day, and I was wondering how you are feeling.

Thank you for your thoughts. I’m on an emotional roller coaster ride because, at this time last year my husband was fighting for his life from emergency surgery to remove hemorrhaging stomach ulcers. He died January 15.

Counseling is helping.
Joint pain is lessening somewhat; still going to PT (maybe not today - new snow overnight!).

Wakefulness continuing at night. Glad for short afternoon naps! 😊

Weight holding steady. Have also started yoga. Hey, even us older folks can learn new things! I made two quarts of bone broth yesterday. Adding that to my healthier me quest, along with Turkey Tail Mushroom and a mushroom blend. Yes, also taking Letrozole. I have to mark my calendar every morning so I know I’ve taken the Letrozole as that’s something my mind resists.

One of the first things I do every morning is check this forum. I appreciate everyone’s sharing and, especially your commitment and sharing, Chris. Let’s continue living life to the fullest and appreciating being alive every day.

It’s a lot to go through and cope with. Anniversary dates are just brutal. I am sorry. I struggle to remember taking my anastrazole. I found these timer caps that screw on prescription bottles and reset to zero when you open them. They are great! I got them on Amazon but when they are out you can get them directly from the company. My husband now uses them for his meds as well. Great invention.