Bear with me. I've been experiencing a major depression for months. It seems as if in September, I froze in mid air, like the Tin Man...or Forest Gump, when he just stopped running.
"What's wrong? How are you feeling?"
"I'm depressed."
It sounds so lame. The sertraline just doesn't seem to be effective. In the past I notice that the closer I get to the therapeutic dose with SSRIs, the more depressed I become and then the suicidal ideations manifest themselves. The Spravato is helping control the SIs, but the "sertraline" isn't working to help with lassitude. Years ago, I was taking it when it was Zoloft.
I've been on it for over 3 months now and the Spravato for 6 weeks. I see my psychiatrist every two weeks.. This Monday...maybe back to the drawing board. I need him to look up my records and see what antidepressant I was taking back in 2019--concurrently with Spravato.
Dr. Andrew Blum, at ECMC, is a Pharmacist and he has been supervising my administration of the Spravato. Their REMS program is stellar compared to the care I was receiving in Fayetteville. On the MADRA scale, I am improving--from the mid 30s to 18...baby steps.
BTW, in Benson--no white light--no TV; low watt, warm light bulb and supervision throughout the first phase and my BP is stable. Knock on wood-- no adverse reactions during treatments. I usually eat an apple and drink a protein shake after phase II. Today, I forgot my apple. By the time I got home. I craved croissants & Combos
lol ...my glucose dropped down to 45--won't do that again...smh.
I yearn to feel that I am "flourishing." I have to be patient... On Thursday, I ran a few errands--something I used to take for granted. Now, they are achievable milestones.
Oh-- I haven't taken Ambien on a nightly basis,since May--after about 20 years, nor Belsomra. I started CBT about 2 months ago for insomnia and anxiety...another set of baby steps.