Are you able to find function that brings you to feelings of..”ok…I can do this”. I too have had lots of surgery. I’m on number 19. I found that taking charge of my recovery, learning everything I could. Setting small…I mean really small goals and ggen ramping them up helped. It took a couple years….actually it was an ongoing process of surgery/recovery for 42 years. Too survive I had to take charge of myself, my emotions and feelings of victimhood. Set small goals you are absolutely sure you can accomplish. The push it. You are the Navy SEALs of pain! Pain cannot defeat you! Tiny small steps. Revel in the accomplishment. Feel the joy. Do it again,