← Return to What did you find most surprising once you were out of the ICU?

Discussion
Comment receiving replies
@alex12119

I was touched to see this article come out, and to receive the email that my words were included. I'm now almost three years out from my ICU stay. I go through different phases of how I try and work through the symptoms. Sometimes I need to withdraw from spaces like this because it's too painful to engage, and other times, I feel up for sharing and connecting with others. Anniversaries are tough for me, particularly the ones around my ICU stay. The whole experience has been on my mind more frequently as January approaches. I'm doing a lot of thinking about holding space for my grief this year, and for all the ways in which my life changed as a result of my illness. I have found healing in watching my body regain some strength (I'm still amazed at my ability to walk down the street), and in gaining some distance from that time in my life. However, there are harder days, and I really feel that a lot of the people around me expect me to be "over this" by now, so I tend to speak about it less than I did initially. I confide in my closest friend, who I am overwhelmed with gratitude for. And I thought I would reach out here too, and maybe try to be a bit more active. I'm sending support to all of you, and grateful to have this space to return to after all this time.

Jump to this post


Replies to "I was touched to see this article come out, and to receive the email that my..."

Thanks for sharing a bit of your story alex12119! It is such a personal and intense experience it often feels overwhelming. I'm 17 months out from the ICU and still struggling with mobility and a sadness that is difficult for others to understand. I was alone in the ICU due to the Covid restrictions. I truly needed my family to help me deal with the pain, hallucinations and paranoia, but it was verboten. Once I was off the ventilator, I relearned how to use my cell phone I could at least hear from them. It was a blessing! Until I met my new internist a year ago, no doctor had validated my PICs experience. He ordered physical therapy and I am able to walk a quarter mile or so now (using a walker, but up and moving). My life has changed, but I am grateful for each new day. I am able to volunteer at a food bank, cook a meal, play with my dog and give thanks for the wonderful people in my life.

Good to hear from you, Alex. Can you tell me more about how you “hold space for your grief” especially as anniversaries approach?