I am doing a copy/paste of what I put on Caring Bridge earlier today. There really is not much more to be said.

As in the previous update, Jerry is not doing well. This cancer is a very aggressive strain and he has a rare genetic strain that makes it worse. The Keytruda infusions did nothing for the cancer--it continued to spread and the treatment made him miserable. The cancer has invaded virtually his entire body. He continues to decline daily. He is totally miserable. He is not talking and sharing his feelings, but I know what he is thinking.

The doc wanted to do chemo--but admitted that there was only 50-50 chance of it doing anything to stop the cancer. And, even if it stopped the cancer, it would not do anything to enhance his quality of life. So, In my opinion---why bother??? It would only prolong his misery.

I finally I sent a note to the doc and said enough is enough. He is miserable. He is declining daily. He did not know I had sent this note to the doc, but when we talked to the doc (had to do a video visit because he was too weak to go to the office) he just said he would "pull the plug if he could"---doc did not understand (DUH how much clearer could he be) I just said, if he was on a ventilator he would pull the plug. Anyway, he agreed to withdraw and let Hospice step in and do what they can to make him comfortable.

The previous doc, a melanoma specialist in Dallas, had not recommended treatment in the beginning. He said the treatment would be worse and kill him before the cancer. I think he was correct. But, the new doc (closer to home) convinced Jerry that he would be fine. I distrusted and had no confidence in this guy from the beginning---and unfortunately, I was right. Jerry--old school---think docs walk on water and are not to be questioned. And, there was no need to continue with one of the best specialists in the country since they all know the same thing!!!! Sorry---I get on a rant about this!!!!!! I worked in the medical field too long and saw too much to just shut my eyes to such. But, it was his decision and I could not convince him otherwise, so respected his decision and supported him in it.

A Hospice nurse was out yesterday and did her evaluation, made some recommendations, and ordered some equipment.

The new Hospice nurse was out and did vitals, etc. She will come weekly unless needed more. They have nurses on call 24 x 7 for whatever is needed.

Hospice uses a different oxygen supplier--so more Oxygen was delivered a few minutes ago. The previous concentrator would only deliver 5 L/min and sometimes that was not enough, so a larger one was delivered which will deliver 10 L/min. I hope he never gets to the point of needed that much--but the last hospital admission he was on 10 L for quite a while!

There should be more equipment delivered later---wheel chair, a walker that he can turn around and sit on if he gets too tired to get to where he was going. There are so many items that Hospice provides to make life easier for both of us. Things we don't want to think about --bedside potty chair---but grateful that we will have then when needed.

The Hospice folks will deliver more equipment and such today and start doing whatever they do to help him. I think/hope that within a day or so he will be less miserable. But---still---the cancer is massive and growing very aggressively. Time is short, and all we is want is for it to be a peaceful transition and he not suffer any more than he already has.

Additional from Caring Bridge post---most of the time, his breathing is so shallow it is hard to see that he is breathing. I just warmed up a little tomato soup with a lot of milk to cut the tartness---he is sipping on it. He has not eaten in 3 or 4 days. He just says he is not hungry. I wonder if he is going into the starvation mode that is common in the last few days.