oh what a wonderful photo. He looks like such a kind man and that is an adorable baby. I too have lost a husband, mine was 20 years, he was 64, cancer for the 2nd time. That was way back in 2008, my son who was 32 died of cancer in 2007 and I didn't think I could go on living actually, without my son even though he lived out of state. I was so filled with love for him. My first husband of 17 years and youngest son (by then 40) died in 2018, only 2 days apart so I totally get it.......I found a therapist who did a group but it wasn't a grief thing and didn't help because the people and therapist didn't seem comfortable when I spoke of anything since it was always the same thing - painful, I tried Compassionate Friends but I couldn't stand being in a room with so many people who have so much grief after losing children. It was just too much for one room. Honestly, nothing really helps. I remarried in Dec 2013, moved then out of our home because I couldn't afford it on my own, then the beautiful small condo I bought? It burned along with everything in it. I have learned the full meaning of living one day at a time. I have one child remaining and there are 2 grandchildren there all out of state which is OK and I am glad they do not have to live within my grief. I have one grandson by one son who died and that grandson lives in another state. One of the biggest hurts is that he has grown to be nearly 16 without a Dad. This might be more painful than just about all of it, perhaps because I cannot even begin to touch how that would be for a young man whom I believe needs a man in his life. I do what I can to be a support to my daughter and these 3 grandchildren - real support as much as I possibly can. Jeff, the first son to die, asked me if I would be sure to see that his 18 month old little son stays in our family which I have done even though his then wife wouldn't even let me see him, hold him or see Jeff when he was most ill. She has since then confessed that she was so terribly jealous because he loved me so much. She and I now have a good relationship which is a miracle indeed that only a God could accomplish. It is just all hard, painful and lasts too long but the alternative would be to be hard-hearted and to have never loved. Maybe we are the fortunate ones. A friend gave me a book that I have now read after each. The book is "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser.