I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you reached out here. While I may not have any words of wisdom on how to get your husband to have a more empathetic response to you, I can share that I have been in the same place. I am the youngest of four, by a lot of years, I am 51 and there are 16 years between myself and the next one. Our oldest sister Kathy passed unexpectedly right before Christmas in 2015. It was awful, as we were very close. She was like a second mother to me and we lost our Mom and Dad in my mid 20s. So she held a very important place in my life. I struggled so badly afterwards because even though it was a blessing to spend her last few days with her, it tore me apart sitting with her as she passed. It was very traumatic for me. We left Texas after her passing and came home to MN on Christmas Eve. No one understood where I was at and how traumatized I was, not even my wife. It's been 6 years and I still grieved for her on her birthday this past Friday. I suspect it is a wound that will never completely heal. Please feel free to reach out here for support, I'm glad you're here.