Anne, your question hit right on one of the existential dilemmas that I have difficulty with in so many aspects of life--and not just in handling a nasty TBI.

Basically it is how do we balance the good of proactivity/ initiative/ persistence with the good of acceptance/living gracefully and gratefully with limitations? I seem to swing, pendulum-like, from bumbling over-doing the proactivity stuff to an "acceptance" that is actually closer to laziness. How do we accept without being passive? Physical therapy is an example: I'll enthusiastically over-do the exercise bit to the point of pain and then revert to "why bother working at all--just accept it and live with it."

Finding the sweet spot is so difficult: that place where you maintain your enthusiasm and dedication without getting ego-involved in the outcome, continuing the work even when progress isn't immediately evident. AND at the same time, being accepting of true limitations instead of becoming passive and resentful. We're doing a balancing act that isn't easy......