Hi Kathi
My daughter, 45, died in her sleep from a brain aneurysm October 15. While she was on vacation with me at my home here in Florida. I am still trying to recover from a sore throat that I think is related to me yelling very loudly at God, in whatever form that means to us, that I wanted her back, right now, and wanted to wake from this nightmare.
I moved to Florida 13 years ago after my wife died of colon cancer so I have friends here to help support me. One of them suggested this site. I wrote some Thank You notes today. Lots of tears. My insides are hollow.
My wife discovered her cancer at 52 and it was terminal. But chemo helped her live over 3:years and we vowed to make the best of it. We did. We travelled as she was able. We said goodbye to everyone that mattered. She passed away at home without pain. A “good death”. I thought I was ready for her death and that the grief would be quick and not too bad. Wish that were true. But time did heal. A lot. Never completely but enough.
Now our daughter dies completely unexpectedly and I am lost. Again, but with no warning. The only blessing has been the love from others and the shocking fact that I have known so many people who have also lost their children but never talked about it. People I had known for many years told me it was easier to not bring it up after some time had passed, but knew I would want to know I was not alone. I know it is not a group I ever wanted to be part of, but here I am and I am reaching out for help too. My broken heart healed once. I know it will again. Just not just yet.
Open up to others and share your grief. It helps eventually. Like writing this may help me and maybe even help you. I hope so.