My definition: Pain management means learning to live your best life with the hand you have been dealt.

It certainly is true that we have wrongly been conditioned to believe that we should never have to be uncomfortable - cold, hot, hungry, in pain, unhappy...and to expect instant gratification or instant solution. Pain management is neither of those as you have pointed out. It is more a matter of learning to live a satisfying life IN SPITE OF THAT LIFE NOT BEING PERFECT. It is also a matter of personal choice.

Every day I get to choose -
Stretch, get up, shower and move around, eat a healthy breakfast, do my nebulizer and airway clearance, a few chores, a little exercise, some volunteering, prepare dinner, take rests or naps as I need to. Or focus on my aches, pains, shortness of breath, worsening arthritis, wrinkles, worries and lay on the sofa.

Smile, get dressed, do my hair, present my best face to the world, call a friend to see how she is doing. Or scowl, schlump around in pajamas with unwashed hair, focus on what hurts hurting, eat junk food and watch TV.

On bad pain days, I can choose to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself. Or I can choose to stretch, meditate or visualize something pleasant, take a short walk and refocus on something I enjoy, in spite of the (lessened) pain.

On really bad days I succumb - and stay out of everyone else's way. The rest of the time I choose to live.

The shining examples in my life were my grandfather, who kept going through numerous serious heart attacks for 31 years, until he fell back and died on his bed at 85, my Dad who was still helping people and dancing with my Mom up until days before his death from metastatic cancer, and my Mom, who with multiple disabilities, lived her life in "chapters", with a smile or a snarky remark for everyone, until she passed away in hospice after deciding she "couldn't do the rehab" one more time. Or my friend who just died after living with blindness, hearing loss, COPD, heart and kidney disease and the onset of dementia - travelling with his wife until just weeks before his death. He always had a cheery word and a story, and kept helping others in whatever capacity he could right to the end - even wanting to "get us something to drink" from his hospice bed.

This is not meant to be Pollyanna-ish - it is just the philosophy I have chosen. Pain management has simply made it possible. It needs to be tweaked at times to keep going, and I need to respect my body and its limits or it won't work.

Sue