My dad passed in 2008. He had pancreatic cancer as well, along with other miscellaneous ailments. I was really close to my dad in many ways. He was man who literally "worked himself to death." I never treated him any different when his health declined. I saw how others changed their demeanor in a sympathetic tone. I discovered that trying to help was inderectly distancing relationships rather than tightening them. The time we had together was effortless and I really cherish those memories.
I don't want to tell anyone what to do or think in their struggles. I hope this helps you in any way.