Hello, @cloudycarol Welcome to Mayo Connect! I am sad to read of your husband's diagnosis but glad you found Connect. I'm Scott and I was my wife's caregiver for her 14+ year war with brain cancer.

I wish I had some magic answer to your question, but all I can do is relate what worked, or helped, for me. Outside help was not an option for us, so I had to figure out some hacks quickly since as you already know there are never enough hours in a caregiver's day!

The thing that helped me the most was to learn to ignore some things I had never done in the past. I came to embrace that there would always be a pile of dirty laundry to do, that my shirts didn't really need to be ironed, that the dishes could wait, and dust bunnies became my newest pet, rather than pest 🙂

I also pared back many things I had previously considered needs and relegated them to 'maybe someday if I have time'. I cut back on the menu options I'd consider cooking to focus on easy, realized 'minute mental vacations' were going to have to suffice, and that the number one item on my daily list was always going to be caregiving and my wife's needs that day (or hour).

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have regarding specific suggestion areas!

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Hi @cloudycarol, My husband has moderate Alzheimer's Disease, and I have a couple of serious medical conditions myself. I can't do everything I used to do around the house and yard, physically. He still helps with some chores - he makes the bed, does most of the dishes, but has withdrawn from finance and house maintenance chores. He no longer drives. Like @indiana Scott, I have learned to let things go. Our house is not as clean and tidy as it used to be, and I have to prioritize. Meal preparation or cleaning the bathrooms can't slide, but vacuuming and dusting can. I gave my husband a notebook and he keeps his own records of the meds and supplements he takes every day - so that helps his independence, He rests a lot during the day, which gives me some breathing time. I've also been getting rid of items I no longer want or need. It's a long, slow process, but doing a little at a time, eventually, things get done and I get things out of the house. Are you able to get anyone in to help with chores? Do you have a local Office of Aging, Alzheimer's Association (or comparable agency) that can give you some assistance? It's important to take time for yourself every day for exercise, relaxation and decompressing. Best to you.