I understand and I'm so sorry! I have UC (pancolitis) and had been in remission on Entyvio for 13 months. Last October, the day after my annual flu shot, I started to bleed. The past year has been HELL!! The flare just won't end!! I have been hospitalized 6 times, have tried and failed Stelara, have been on and off prednisone several times (60 mg daily, then the taper by 5 mg every week). I am currently on Remicade, which has improved things, but after the Covid vaccines, I ended up back in the hospital for several days!! Currently, I am on Remicade every 4 weeks and still on prednisone, and struggling to maintain 100 pounds. The only thing left for me is Zeljanx, and in order for me to take that, I must have a two dose shingles vaccination, because shingles is a side effect. I am so disgusted with this debilitating, horrible disease that has taken so much away from my family and me.... Right now, I am down to 15 mg prednisone daily and waiting for approval from Insurance for Xeljanx. I will be 64 next week, have always been very healthy, until UC - at the age of 60! I have also scheduled a proctocolectomy for next month in case things get worse or that I am unable to take the Xeljanx. This has been a roller coaster of hell and I cannot keep doing this.... I try to focus on benefits vs. risks with all these drugs, but I need some quality of life!! The drugs and biologics just target the inflammation; why can't they just alter the gut microbiota and cure this??????