I am trying to find a gentle way to say that you should ask your husband to talk about empathy, and sympathy. I am an adult on the spectrum, and although it is difficult for me to show or recognize these emotions in other. I carry the weight of others burdens and pain on my shoulders. In fact after some frank conversations about this with family, I think I feel those emotions more strongly than most. I am not saying your husband is the same but many of us on the spectrum are. My husband also said no more dogs after the loss of my beloved tinkerbell, she came to us after hurricane Katrina and we had her 10 years. It was a crushing blow to me and he said, it was to him as well and he just can’t go through it again. He finally told me that after I was more insistent about why I couldn’t adopt another dog. Now I understand, and will respect his wishes.
The gift giving thing? I don’t believe this is absolutely about the spectrum. I am like you but I have to work harder to show how much that gift means, I also get very disappointed if my gift isn’t well received, although the other person will probably never know it.
Do you have other friends or family you can exchange gifts with to fulfill this need?
Can you have a conversation with your husband about empathy and sympathy without it being heated and without conversation about a dog?