@gingerw Thanks for sharing that. Just reading what you said was validating. I too grew up in an extremely social environment in the 50s-60s - UGH! It's hard not to regret that I didn't figure it out sooner. I try and just focus on knowing what makes me happy and being grateful I no longer feel pressured. Though, to be honest, I slipped back when I moved. I moved to a neighborhood that was very friendly and that is nice. Also several single women same age and stage. This was all after my recent divorce, leaving New Mexico after almost 30 years. I was displaced emotionally as well as physically and I felt pressured by my daughter-in-law and son (not so much him) to make friends and be fine (they live down the road from me.) I was anxious and depressed and all my childhood trauma came back. That was a difficult time. I'm much better now. There's one gal, she's a book person like me and quite to herself, and a bit quirky and we get together on occasion. Also, I can't eat out. I just can't handle eating a meal without it getting stuck and feeling like I'll never be able to eat again. I think I have early dysphagia. I had a swallow study and they said I have GERD. Well you swallow 12 oz. of that stuff and then a table flips you on your back - of course, I had some, but amazingly little. Well, thank you, Ginger. This is as close as I'll get to journaling. Suzanne