I am sorry to hear of your wife's sepsis, @jerrynord. Yes, that can be very difficult to treat when there are other pre-existing conditions. I would like to invite @IndianaScott to join this conversation. He also lost his wife after a long battle with cancer and he can undoubtedly share with you.

Are there any grief support groups in your area? Can you speak with a pastor or other counselor? Being all alone makes grief even more difficult.

Talked to our pastor but at this time I really don't feel like talking to anyone about it.

@jerrynord There is no timeline for grief, or guilt, or figuring how to "carry on". I am sorry your wife passed so suddenly, when it looked like she was recovering well. In these times of electronic communications, of course you can always come here to Mayo Connect to talk to us. Looking into a support group that meets via Zoom might help you, as well as reaching out to the social worker team at the hospital where your wife was, to get resources you can use.

It's difficult to go through changes in seasons, or memories of how you lived as a couple, when your spouse is not there to share with you. My dad kept a journal that he wrote to my mother, who dealt with Alzheimers and dementia for 10 years before she passed. They were married just shy of 53 years, and he wrote like they were not dealing with her health issues. He said he found it cathartic, and made his days more complete. Perhaps you could try something like that? I have found myself "talking" to lost loved ones like they are right beside me, and it seems to help sometimes.
Ginger

@jerrynord, Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear wife. You are in my thoughts and prayers.