@gingerw Thanks for the question. I write because it makes me focus. I'm so happy to find this community because I don't write much about my problems, physical or mental. And MC connect helps me think things through with care. In daily life, I don't take time to just sit down and think about how I feel, what's going on with me that's making me feel anxious? I don't check in with myself very often, but writing here, and focusing first on the feelings and thoughts of others is rewarding and helps me know myself better.

Another tip I have is writing and reading fiction. I have a (4 person) Zoom writers' group and we've been meeting for three + years. The best thing about writing fiction is the attention you have to pay to your characters. You can't get in their way, characters have their own thoughts and feelings. Of course, we all write from our experience but only tangentially. For instance, I'm writing a young adult novel about a fifteen-year-old girl from a divorced family, mom is an alcoholic, the girl sells marijuana, and has a best friend who gets the pot to sell. Is this anything new here? Not this day and age.

When I first started writing the story, I was too close to the young girl. I made her too much like me, the mother a meany, and her grandfather character too much like my father. You can't do that. It's self-serving. Why put your readers through what you went through? (except in MC connect where it's valuable to share.). Why punish them with your story when you can write a character that betters you and doesn't condemn one of your family members?

So I softened the mom and clarified her backstory. I totally overhauled the grandfather who is now multi-dimensional with an important backstory also. And now, my main character has to change because her family has changed. That allowed me to see my protagonist (main character) as a character. Not as an extension of me. And that was a huge relief.

Being able to take yourself out of the center of a story is a huge gift I never expected. And it makes the story so much better for the reader. I've been working on this novel for several years. Will it ever get published? I'll try, but I'm not going to hold my breath. The process of writing and reading fiction isn't just an escape. It's an opportunity to focus, see yourself in different contexts, and join others in the same pursuit. P.S. on reading. I feel reading fiction by authors who speak to me, get my attention, is the best way to get writing advice. It's nice to have a group, but it takes a while to find one (at least it did me). Don't worry about going back and reading all those classics you once thought were essential. Read what speaks to you and takes you away. No matter what it is. Community college courses are a good place to start and have class times that cater to working folks as well as day students.

Memoir and biography were the types of books that interested me when I was young. The stark realities of a violent and dysfunctional home life oftentimes draw us to reality-based reading because it's a document of something that actually happened. So, to venture into fiction may feel a bit unnerving to some. The phrase I want to mention here is, "the willing suspension of disbelief". In fiction you allow yourself to believe in magic, or miracles (they do happen, though), or talking animals. It's a bit like going on a cruise to someplace you've never been and you're going to make the most of it. It's the best staycation I know, and very affordable.

I didn't mean to go on for so long, but this is what I do. I hope my thoughts have inspired . . . Thanks, Suzanne