Hello- It's nice to meet you. I'm a long-time Lung Cancer survivor and I understand these questions so well. My first answer is that it's normal to feel these things. They have a purpose. And it's important to feel them. They actually help us more than bother us.

Our innate fight or flight response is a key component in this process. When faced with a risky scenario, our bodies experience a surge of adrenaline to prepare us to either engage or seek safety. With cancer, I learned that it helped me to focus more intently on what needed to be done- tests, scans, etc. I was a force to be reckoned with! As you know, this is the rosy side of fear and anxiety.

I have a tendency to curl up and think things out when I'm anxious and fearful, wondering what will serve me better- feeling anxious and fearful - what am I getting out of them? How are they serving me? In order for me to work with them so that in the long run they do not over-power me, I need to deeply feel them. If I don't then it's as if you lose someone and don't grieve.

There are several things to think about:
What am I afraid of?
Is this fear realistic?
What is the worst that can happen?
Where in my body do I feel fear?
How do I feel when I take a few deep breaths?

So to fear death is realistic- But when I was faced with this it made me really think about what was important in living. I had to ask big life questions, some of which I'm still asking. I'm still afraid but have much less fear than I used to. I think, for me at least, the more I think about something the more I become familiar with it. The more familiar, more educated, and have repeated fearful feelings, they lessen in their acuteness, at least for me.

When I was first faced with lung cancer 23+ years ago sites like Connect weren't even heard of. I found that telling my story, sharing my feelings helped me. I remember my first elevator trip up to the OR for my first lobectomy. I was so afraid, I was crying and almost grabbed a hold of something so that I couldn't be wheeled out. Coincidently a nurse from my doctor's office was on the same elevator and came to my rescue and helped calm me down. And this is what it's all about.

I have always loved to write and draw. I am an administrator for my High School Facebook group and my classmates encouraged me to write a blog. And I did. https://my20yearscancer.com/

Shortly after my blog was up and running I found Connect. I was obsessed to find a place that I could be safe, feel loved, and help others. And the rest is history.

Do I still fear my chronic lung cancer? Yes of course. I still can still do justice to anxiety, but by allowing my feelings I can use them, be creative, help someone and get on with things.