Move over. 🙂 I awake too and sitting on the couch with you (virtually). Do you feel that squeeze? That's me holding your hand. Waiting is the hardest, second only to worrying about the unknown. I learned a wonderful saying from someone else on this forum "Don't borrow from tomorrow's worry."

I know you're scared. You can be scared and strong. The two are not mutually exclusive. He's the love of your life, your life partner and you're scared of losing him. But you're also strong. You are going to accompany him to his appointments, you're going to be the extra set of ears, you'll take notes and ask questions. You can be sad and strong.

Have you talked to an oncology social worker? They can help find support services. You do not need to shoulder this alone.