Move over. 🙂 I awake too and sitting on the couch with you (virtually). Do you feel that squeeze? That's me holding your hand. Waiting is the hardest, second only to worrying about the unknown. I learned a wonderful saying from someone else on this forum "Don't borrow from tomorrow's worry."

I know you're scared. You can be scared and strong. The two are not mutually exclusive. He's the love of your life, your life partner and you're scared of losing him. But you're also strong. You are going to accompany him to his appointments, you're going to be the extra set of ears, you'll take notes and ask questions. You can be sad and strong.

Have you talked to an oncology social worker? They can help find support services. You do not need to shoulder this alone.

@scared2- Oh, I know this feeling! I heard a phrase the other night that I felt really described how I felt when your life or a loved one's is in peril: You stop pretending or dreaming that your life is one way and then bam, you can't pretend anymore. Everything seems like it's at a standstill until that next test result, the next scan the next blood test. It exasperates all your fears- But there is hope for good results.

I can only tell you what my husband did when he felt overwhelmed with fear. He would look for me and hugged me as hard as he could without hurting me and he cried. I let him and sometimes I'd cry too. It was always such a great energy release and helped unclog those awful feelings, until the next time.

I felt that it was such a gift that he could show me this much love. My Dave is also the love of my life. We just celebrated our 40th anniversary and also learned this year that there is a good chance that he has some form of lung cancer, with 3-month scans.

There is no law that says that being strong for someone is a part of cancer. Cancer makes people fearful, makes people sad and angry. I find that strength comes from love and it seems like you have that covered!