Oh, you are not alone in being an introvert. I’m an introvert and so is my daughter! It’s a personality trait and we’re born with it. Just like people are born with super outgoing personalities. I’m not sure why, but as introverts we’re often seen as ‘less than’ if we’re not part of the popular crowd and outgoing. That takes a toll on our morale and we feel pretty insignificant.

Extraversion-Introversion simply means how you get your energy. Extraverts get their energy from the outside world (people and events), while Introvert get their energy from the internal world (solitude). An Extravert is often seen as outgoing or a “people person,” while Introverts tend to be more reflective and reserved. It doesn’t mean we’re all or nothing. I’m a people person but I am very much a loner.

It also doesn’t mean we can’t rise above what we feel are our limitations. We can overcome our insecurities with some effort. I’m very socially awkward and yet I had a successful career in the dental field where I had to interact with at least 25+ patients a day. As long as I could stick to basic small talk I was fine because the job was so fast paced. But put me in a room with strangers in a social setting…I’m filled with anxiety and need to decompress afterwards! The only things I have going for me are that I’m annoyingly perky and truly love helping people.

You really sound so normal to me except that your low self esteem needs some heavy lifting. I know you have the ability to make some changes and you’re willing or you wouldn’t have gone looking online for help and found Connect.

Change IS exhausting. Anytime we try to do something that defies our nature, it’s a challenge. Sometimes baby steps are all we need to get moving. Not leaps and bounds! That’s scary as heck! But in your heart you know at some point you’re going to have to take a risk and put yourself out ‘there’…find something that does bring in $$ to be independent and that’s frightening!

If it helps, we’re not born pay-worthy. So try not to feel that you’re never going to be that person. My daughter felt the same way. In high school her friends had jobs. She was too insecure about herself to even try. Then one day we were at the little local diner and the owner offered her a job as a waitress. She didn’t want to but was intrigued. She finally caved and took the job. Turned out to be a really good ego booster! Now she’s 38, still introverted but the director of operations at the business where she works and brave enough to be heavily involved in roller derby! She’s fierce! You’d never know it by looking at her.

You’re in a university! That’s really great news that you’re still connected to the academic world. Do you have an advisor? That’s their job to help guide students. What’s your major? Are there any mentorships you could sign up for…just to test the waters?