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@billchitwood

The last we knew (over a year ago) was he was in stage 3. No idea if it has progressed beyond that or not or what else is happening other than a lot of symptoms. We do know that he has a vascular valve problems and lots of very slow healing sores on his lets and scaling. No swelling like before but he sits in a recliner constantly with his feet up. A doctor would have to use the 6 month limit in order to qualify. No idea if he is close to that or still years, although at 88 years life span at stage 3 shows up at a couple of years (he was diagnosed at stage 3 in December of 2020. Our KY doctor never indicated anything wrong with kidney. Valve and Thyroid problem yes. BP and Gout controlled. He would be ok with hospice at home if it came to that. Daughter also said she would be willing to sell her home and move in to help when he needed it. She has alerted her school (she is a math teacher) that to immediately get her if I called and didn't get through to her. So they all have our back, plus family here. He isn't even up to more than 15 minute visits with family. Exhausted all of the time. Walking to the bathroom wipes him out.

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Replies to "The last we knew (over a year ago) was he was in stage 3. No idea..."

Hmmm - That is a common misperception. Through Medicare, hospice care is for those who are terminally ill, without a defined time limit. That is typically assumed to be 6 months or less, but you can get unlimited extensions if the doctor certifies the condition remains terminal. (See: https://www.medicare.gov/what-medicare-covers/what-part-a-covers/how-hospice-works.)

I am sure if you call Bill's physician (in his presence so he can grant you permission to discuss) and relay all you have told us here, you will get a recommendation for hospice. Through Medicare, he can also order blood tests through home health care so no doctor visit is needed for making his diagnosis, and the tests can cover the kidney function, blood counts, etc. Make sure the doc understands the desire for no more treatments, you just need the diagnosis.

Does Bill have an Advanced Directive (not just a DNR order) in place? (see: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/living-wills/art-20046303) Do you or someone else have a Durable Medical Power of Attorney? (https://www.lawhelp.org/dc/resource/frequently-asked-questions-about-durable-powe)

These are two very important steps to take now, so treatments cannot be imposed against his will going forward. If you cannot get Bill to put it in writing, get him to tell you what he wants and record it, then text or email it to his daughter so it is well-documented.

This is a tough time - end of life, no matter how good or long it has been, is difficult. By helping Bill let go on his terms, you are honoring him.
Sue