If he will not visit the doctor, is he open to enrolling in hospice? Perhaps you can approach it in terms of "they will help me take care of you, and put my mind at ease that I am doing things the way you want."

We have had home, in nursing home and residential hospice for our parents. It was wonderful as they explained each "next step" and helped us through.

One of our best friends made the decision 3 weeks ago to forego further surgery or treatment for his total bowel obstruction, because he too has a number of other terminal conditions. He agreed to home hospice, and it has helped his wife and daughters immensely in caring for him.

We were able to visit him, in his home, before he reached the stage of actively dying, and it was wonderful to see the support they had. At each turn, the nurse is available in person or by phone, to help them know what to do to make things easiest for him. She orders (and in some cases brings) meds and supplies to help, and secured a hospital bed and other aids, all covered by Medicare, to make him comfortable.

Just one option for someone who is ready to "let go." I wish you peace with his decision, whatever it may be.
Sue