No, it’s not vague at all! I get what you mean. I’m an introvert by nature and rather be in the background than face to face with people. See how this volunteer job suits me? Depression can really leave you feeling like you’re living in a fog. I went through it a long time ago but I still remember the oppressive feeling of “what’s the point?” and yet I had everything I ever wanted right in front of me. It’s almost like I was observing myself from the outside, not even recognizing who I was anymore.
@grandmar is spot on, most of us have no idea when we’re younger exactly what we want. And our roads twist and turn all the time. Even people who love their careers from the get-go often end up burned out and wanting a change.
You’re far from hopeless. I think you just need some direction to get you started. Honestly, my gut reaction the other day, knowing nothing about you, is that you feel no sense of purpose right now. A sense of purpose also gives us a feeling of self-worth. We all need a reason to get up in the morning and to feel needed or relevant. Am I close?
And I’m also sensing that you live at home and feeling pressured to find a job or to do something with your life. Right? So it’s easier to head over to your friend’s house than to sit in judgment. I get it! When you’re feeling so bad about yourself already, that’s the last thing you want to hear at home. What’s your family life like though? Do you get along with your parents? Any siblings?
I didn’t always have the best relationship with my parents when I was younger, my mom especially. We were always going head to head about something. I was fiercely independent and would dig my heels in instead of actually sitting down and talking to them. When I finally did, it was amazing how smart and understanding they were with me.
Reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
Have you considered taking classes at a vocational/technical college? They have great counselors who take the time to talk with you about possible educational opportunities.
If you sat and talked to your parents would they help you make some life choices?
@loribmt you're pretty close. Phew, always thought I needed to change so badly because most people make me feel like "no one is born an introvert. You just giving excuses" and yes, I did try to change but it exhausted me. It didn't even feel right to me.
I have no sense of purpose. That's an understatement but true. I know people learning skills (legal and illegal) and earning money to cater for themselves. It drives me nuts cause I don't have that. And what kills me is that I've never been "pay-worthy" of something or a skill. And all my interests now are those that help me escape reality and those ones bring no money or value.
I school. I'm in a tertiary(university to be precise) institution. So i hope that answers your later inputs.