I am sorry to hear of your experience, but you should actually be encouraged by it - this is a symptom of your immune system "revving up". See this info https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/expect/after.html

I don't know whether anyone can predict what will happen with the second dose. At my house, my husband felt "rough" but not down in bed for 3 days after the first Pfizer dose, breezed through the second with a sore arm and mild headache. My daughter, who has long Covid, was quite ill from her first doses of Pfizer for 3-4 days, but breezed through her 3rd dose last week with a headache and sore arm. I react to ALL vaccines, and had my typical inflammatory flare to each dose. A month after the second, I was treated with a course of steroids to calm it. I would say that these are typical of the range of reactions...
We consider the temporary discomfort a small price to pay for reducing our risk of getting Covid and/or spreading it to our little grands.
If nothing else convinces you, read about the people living with long Covid, with no end in sight, compared to a few days of discomfort. Nobody knows who will develop it - young/old. severe/mild case. underlying conditions or not.
Sue