In my experience Doctors tell you a year to see how you do and also a year later it is easier to break it to you if they think you need to be on it longer or most likely for the rest of your life. Think about it…what state were you in the 1 year before? Probably not a very good state if they are putting you on meds. Hearing & thinking about it being life long is something hard to accept & takes time. Everyone is so different. Just take one day at a time & when you have the energy try different avenues. How many times (likely without meds) have you had depression in your life? Have you had it a couple of times? If so it is likely you will not be able to bounce back this time if you have had it a couple of times. This is just all info from personal experience. I am 65 & had it since teenage years. I would suggest looking into ketamine treatment. It’s a bit odd but they have had some success with it. This is the only thing I have heard of that has given “some” people relief for a good while or for some permanent relief and get off meds. For myself it DID relieve me of the “bad self talk” (continually putting your self down) but sadly did NOT lift or “cure” the depression. I was not one of my doctor’s success stories but just getting rid of the bad self talk was worth it. Best of luck to you. It will be a journey. God never wastes a bad experience if you let him use it.