This is “engelee” . I am a psychotherapist, psychopharmacollogist and a nurse with 33 year career. I read thoroughly what you wrote;and I do have some comments and questions for you.
First, the “door” isn’t locked, it only FEELS locked. Additionally why are you allowing your best efforts to be judged by “others”. If you think you tried hard, evaluate what didn’t work and make adjustments or try something else that YOU think would be helpful. I didn’t say “best” . Perhaps that points to another area to investigate; what are your expectations of yourself.
I hope you have a therapist and if you don’t think it’s a good fit go and find somebody else. You seem to rely on others judgement of you and then feel like your failing.
Your wife is with you out of her own choice. You are looking inward an awful lot—-start looking out and HELP other people—maybe your wife. You sound depressed with a belief that nothing and nobody helps. How open are you? Or is it easier to just say nothing works. Doors swing open both ways. Get moving, get exercising, get on the right antidepressant and give it time to work. Stop looking at what you don’t have and assess what you do have.