Hi Tim @tim1950 and Welcome to Connect. Ativan can be a very tricky medication to become involved with, especially without a doctor's guidance. I am sorry you both are having to deal with this. I was placed on this medication at one point and didn't make it past a few weeks because of the side effects with my other medications.
You will see that I paired your post with a long standing discussion with over 25 pages of members discussing benzo withdrawal and all the trouble they have had with it. I want you to be able to connect with the other members on here so that you can find some help for your wife even if you just find someone who has been through something similar.
Can you tell me, is she ready to cut it out completely? Is it something that your son can stop taking so that you can get it out of your house?