I was once exactly how you described. I felt and experienced the same thing. i would go out and have fun I would think, and "come to" the next morning...afternoon more likely and if I was lucky at home. I usually didn't remember but a little bit of what i did the night before and very little else. As time went on that became less and less. I went thru two marriages and eventually lost custody of the two daughters i had given birth to, at the time i lost custody of my daughters that is when my drinking went from being "fun" to disastrous, even though at the time i was still "just having fun". It wasn't until i would guess I'd say maybe 1 year maybe a 1 1/2 later, I finally went to treatment to get some help. I won't say even after treatment that I quit not because treatment doesn't work cause it does I just wasn't ready to quit doing what I was doing but it definitely put me on the right path. Today I am 18 1/2 years clean. No one could tell me what I needed to hear, my ears were closed...until i was ready to hear what i needed to hear was i ready to do something different, good luck and know...You path doesn't have to be as long as mine was..