Since the tumor removed and treated with irradiation was in my throat, eating was already difficult if almost not possible. The chemo added nausea and counter indicated eating at all. I was throwing up and any movement of the throat (like eating) caused gag reflex. It was keeping me from eating and also, leaving me so debilitated I was facing not being able to even get myself to radiation treatments. Talked to oncologist who explained percent of survival with and also without chemo. It was truly very low per treatment if i figured right. I just knew it could kill me. I was already so far gone. Maybe it wouldn’t have, but I did feel that inner knowing. I had done as told up to that time. I stopped after talk with spouse and even my grown children. They must have felt my certainty as no one pushed back. I am almost at 2 year mark for cancer free. This was the standard they gave me for likely full survival of HPV related throat tumor. Or so I understood it to be. So, God willing, it was what was needed to get me thru.
I have to say that I am blessed with a strong sense of faith. I ask God for guidance as well as my inner voice. Maybe they are the same or first cousins.
I do think our innate selves are well informed and cued appropriately.
Thanks for asking. I imagine you will know. Hoping you dont have to know. With love,l