@so1frustrated, It is good to hear that you have connected with an oncologist whom you like and who is going to work with you. Your interest in researching your condition, and your self advocacy are definitely to your benefit as it sounds like you can have an open and honest communication with him.
You asked how I am, and I will say that I am doing well. I had a good check-up at Mayo in May for my annual transplant evaluation. It is always a happy feeling when there are no changes to medications!

I want to point out a currently active discussion. I don't know if it pertains to any of your situation, but I want to share the link with you. Members are talking about bladder cancer, and chemo, radiation.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/bladder-cancer-kidney-transplant/

My husband is 2 years into dealing with highly aggressive urothelial cell carcinoma of the bladder. The Mayo oncologist we spoke with was not highly supportive of the studies of chemo prior to surgery. The surgeon agreed and we chose the surgery option plus they did the Gemzar in the bladder. Post surgery he was on Cisplatin and Gemzar both for several months IV and tolerated it well. Some appetite changes and some hearing loss and a temporary neuropathy with tingling in feet. Unfortunately new bladder tumors have recurred regularly and BCG immunotherapy in the bladder did not control them. Multiple cystoscopic surgeries to remove and cauterize. Noe he has been on a checkpoint inhibitor Keytruda for 5 months but a new tumor recurred this summer. He is opting for a radical cystectomy with neobladder to be done at Mayo in December. He has been lucky that there have been no recurrences outside of the bladder. We are both doing an immune therapy that we go to the Bahamas for. I have been doing it for 9 years for my Head and Neck cancer. It seems to have slowed down my disease but not stopped it. Metastatic SCC does not offer a cure, but am now on the immunotherapy Cemiplimab and responding well. The oncologists say my tumor does not act normal, much slower in progression and perhaps the Bahamas immunotherapy is responsible for that. Quantumimmunotherapy.net if you are interested. I am exploring medicinal mushrooms also. The book The Rebel's Apothecary got me interested. Research Beta Glucans for immune support. When you follow through with traditional medicine as far as you can, then it seems you must do much research on your own to find the complementary therapies. I love that my Mayo doctors have had an acceptance of the other things I do, even tho they may not understand or believe in the treatments. But I have always followed their recommendations first, as has my husband in his medical journey.