Hi @cindiwass. My mom was 82 years old when she had a knee replacement. It changed her life from one of agony and exclusion to being active and outgoing for the remainder of her life! She was intimidated by the thought of her surgeon. He had an excellent reputation and she felt the typical white coat syndrome. But found out he was this amazingly caring, compassionate man who took the time to describe the whys, hows and recovery of the procedure.

I haven’t personally had a joint replacement but I did have a new immune system installed! Well, that was an adventure. And believe me, my husband and I had lists of questions…before, during and still now, 2 years after! My doctors did make it easy though as they were all extremely approachable. We became more like colleagues in managing my health than doctor/patient.

Not all doctors are that way. Some have the ‘bigger than life’ mystique around them. Don’t feel intimidated. I worked my entire career with dentists and oral surgeons. Some of them could be a bit stand-offish and not very warm and fuzzy. But you know what? After working with them I find out ‘they put their pants on one leg at time’ like the rest of us. (LOL yes one of them used to jog at noon then swap out clothing. 🙄) You’ll find most doctors are just like that!

But the one thing all doctors appreciate is having a plan. As @sueinmn and @artscaping suggested, it’s key to have a list of the questions most important to you. You can also express any concerns and apprehensions. They won’t bite and most welcome the discussion!

And above all, don’t be timid but just be yourself and ask those questions!! Practice with us! We’ll give you feedback! Knowledge is power.

I’ve been following your conversation with Sue and can understand your general reluctance for surgery. But you’ve suffered with the pain of these deteriorated joints for so long and they’re obviously limiting your movement and stealing your joy from each day. I’m concerned that you’re overthinking all of this. What is your biggest fear really?